Oh No! Blade has returned and is out for revenge! Goodness what will we do! You’re a little plastic soldier(s), again, engaged in a war between the little green men and the little brown ones. You must stop blade in his tracks as he tries to take over the world or something similar. Not very original, in fact very predictable, childish and dull, but I suppose the kiddies will love it.
Quite shocking but I don’t think many of you will be surprised at that. At first it looks ok, you’ve got the choice of one pilot and one helicopter. Each pilot (more can be unlocked through progression) has their own special attack, which could be something like napalm or a nuclear bomb, nice touch. Each helicopter also has it’s good points and bad points so it looks like you’ve got a game that can be quite varied but is not. Play your first mission and you’ve played them all, go around mindlessly shooting at anything that comes in site whether it be an army man or a killer bee with his bone firing dog chum. Each mission you’ll see a change in scenery, objective and enemies but that makes no difference. Each mission has boring and in some way repetitive objectives and the enemies are stupidly thought up, e.g. a killer plastic dinosaur that fires a laser beam! Very creative, perhaps made up by a child in his first year at school? From an open minded point of view though this game would be perfect for someone of a younger age apart from its dodgy controls. It not so much the configuration it’s the feel, it’s more like the scenery is moving and you are not. The helicopter feels sluggish and even though you can dart from side to side, the game has no real pace like a mindless shooting fest should. You get bombarded with missiles with are nigh on impossible to dodge which makes the tactic of the game simple. Stay still and launch as much firepower as possible until everything is dead. It’s possibly the most boring formula ever created.
When I had my first go on Army Men Air Attack, I thought that the menu screens looked pretty good, shifting around the toys in a bedroom like something out of Toy Story. Good in the sense that it used something different using the 3D environment as the backdrop. Then I got into the game and thought Wow! It looks just like one of my old PS one games! Perhaps a test copy of Soviet Strike but with slightly more amusing radio transmissions and battlegrounds. I really didn’t think much of it’s graphical capabilities, just when I thought PS2 graphics were reaching a new level. It’s all very uninspiring and in no way does it look like it should have a home on the PS2. One thing that could be said for it is its cheerfully colourful areas like the back garden style with lots of flowers, bees and dogs that fire bones out of their mouths, (There are people in this world that get paid to make up these things). It’s the top down view of the little green chopper of your choice with tiny men firing and tanks firing red beams of bullet and giant missiles that are completely out of proportion, but I suppose that’s allowed because it’s like a cartoon. There’s no excuse though for its pre PS2 Looks. The colourful but ancient looking graphics are not the only fault in this game, yes there are others which well and truly burry it under the pile of rubbish by the bin in the broom cupboard. Read on...
This might as well be replaced with boredom factor. Listening to the little men rattle in your ear and the cut scenes is neither exciting nor worthwhile and the game is just to repetitive, and in most cases easy, to be bothered with. It’s like your in a coma when you are playing, staring straight ahead at the screen, can’t be bothered to move but can’t really be bothered to play, every second your brain shrivelling a little bit more. I suppose there is one fun thing and that’s picking up a heavy object and heaving it at a bone firing dog! He had it coming, call the RSPCA if you don’t like it!
This could have been a great game for all ages and it should have been a fast paced game that you didn’t mind wasting your brain on, like R-Type or something similar. Instead you’ve got a slow, sluggish boring game that would have no impact on your PS2 collection or even your Snes collection. Maybe you should let your children play Onimusha; this would probably traumatise them for life.