2Dark Review

Sometimes, things in life just don't fit our desired mold; they don't always bend to our will. Maybe you wanted peanut butter and jelly today, but there's no jelly left in the fridge. You don't necessarily have to turn a blind eye to the rest of the world and starve yourself to death just because there's no jelly. Nothing can ever perfectly fit our image after all. So maybe, it's just better to accept the rest of the ingredients for what they are and try something new. Peanut butter goes well with a lot of other stuff anyway.

What was I talking about? Oh yeah......video games.....I guess. That little metaphor may have turned into a paragraph long rant about the fine cuisine of sandwich making, but I think that it's crucial if we want to talk about 2Dark, an interesting title by newcomer studio Gloomyworld Games -- a game that isn't what we expect it to be, but it doesn't mean that we should be cruel to it because of its different aspects.

When you first take a peek at 2Dark, the name, the descriptions and whatnot, you get a sense that it going to be another generic survival horror game that takes itself way too seriously -- maybe with crafting elements sprinkled in there to further piss me off; No charm, no redeeming value, either a Silent Hill or Slenderman knockoff. However you will soon realize that 2Dark is its own original thing with a different approach to horror. Thank god for that.

The story is deliberately cheesy. The game itself knows that the story's bland and is quickly brushed off with nary a mention afterwards. You're a private detective with a murdered family who rescues children from evil clowns, serial killers and rest of the kitchen sink. It's okay, not too aggregating, a bit too edgy but mostly harmless.

The gameplay is a mixup of point-and-click adventure games, light puzzle mechanics and a bit of The Binding of Issac thrown in there for good measure. Each level is like a tiny maze: you go to different rooms to find keys, missing children and fight the occasional mob. The control scheme is a bit difficult to get used to at first but you'll probably memorize it thanks to the sheer power of anger after a couple of frustrating deaths.

"This all sounds fine and dandy.", you might be saying to yourself (or at least I hope that you do), "But is the game scary at all?" Well the answer to that question is a big fat NO Thanks to gameplay decisions such as the infinite reset spam, you won't be scared by this game not even a tiny bit. In fact, give this game to literal babies, and they too will shotgun the children off and reset at least once. I know I did. 

So....... Q&A time. 1) Is the game scary?: NO.  2) Is it fun?: YES.  3) Would you recommend it to someone who likes point-and-click adventure games?: YES.  4) What about Issac?: YES.  5) How many times did you actually kill the children and reset the game?: I would tell you but I fear it may cost me my job here.

The quintessential hype-man that this site deserves and needs. Will write for space games.