Beast Battle Simulator Review

Beast Battle Simulator Review

Like games such as Goat Simulator - which marries wonky physics to an absurd premise and the promise of mayhem - Beast Battle Simulator is 75% concept and 25% actual game. Here, the idea is to answer the question "who would win if you pitted 20 gorillas against 10 triceratops?". Or 100 penguins against a fire mage? Or 10 sharks against a tank?


You get the idea. In Beast Battle Simulator, you assemble two teams - out of animals, dinosaurs, humans, machinery - hit go, and see what happens. Will 50 wiener dogs defeat the T-Rex? What happens when a handful of yeti encounter a squad of bison outfitted with flame throwers? There's no denying that as high concepts go, this one has an absurd appeal. With dozens of animals, dinos, human fighters and add-on equipment to play with, the combinations are endless.

Alas, a couple of things turn Beast Battle Simulator into a short-lived novelty experience:;the graphics and the physics. The animals and humans are rendered to a scale but primitively and dully textured. The special effects are unimpressive, and animal movement and battles themselves are beset by floppy, unrealistic physics. Great flying birds and dragons act like they're suspended from elastic strings, and mighty dinos dispatch their prey by rolling around sideways on the ground. I suppose that no one really wants to see a realistic encounter between disparately matched animals, like elephants battling flame throwers and cannons, or watch a mighty dinosaur realistically eviscerated by lions. 


In a nod to the gameplay longevity, Beast Battle Simulator includes a few different modes. They include several dozen challenge scenarios, a soccer game, a wave-based survival mode, and a sandbox mode with unlimited resources. Given the premise, it's pretty hard to imagine playing the game in something other than sandbox mode, where one's twisted imagination can have free reign. There's the option of taking direct control of any unit in first person, but with pretty limited moves or impact on the battle.


Beast Battle Simulator has a cool premise, alright, and a lot of fun until suddenly it isn't anymore. Every encounter tend to start looking the same, no matter what species are battling. It would be a perfect browser game, or cheap tablet title but $10 seems a little steep for a game with fairly limited shelf life. I guess I'm just twisted but I would love to see this silly idea supported by realistic visuals and characteristic animal behavior. Guess I'll have to wait for the new Jurassic Park game.